Mission Calls to Ukraine Still Inspired

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH — In the midst of the growing crisis between Ukraine and Russia, top leaders for and the missionary department of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have changed the mission calls for dozens of elders and sisters from Ukraine to other locations.  "It was an inspired decision," reported Church spokesman Brigham Y. Pratt.  "Our dedicated missionaries need to be kept safe from the unpredictable wiles of the world, and the decision to transfer them from Ukraine to other missions came from God after much deliberation in the upper room of the Salt Lake Temple."  When asked about the original revelation to send them to Ukraine, Pratt declined to comment but instead referred reporters to a 2010 priesthood session talk by Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Seventy.

All questions were referred to the Church’s only token spokeswoman, who normally only signs documents being sent by the Brethren to the Ordain Women movement.

The above article is satire; most or all of the events and quotations are fictitious.

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The Mormon Examiner

Title:  Mission Calls to Ukraine Still Inspired

Author:  Austin Skousen

Section:  Beehive Comedy Vault

Originally Published:  Monday, August 19th, 2014

Last Updated: September 11th, 2014

Source:  mormonexaminer.blogspot.com